Kareem Abdul J.D. seemed an apt nickname for Kevin, an extremely tall and also incredibly intelligent lawyer who came up next in the dating rotation. Kevin remains one of the smartest, wittiest guys I have dated yet also one of the most baffling. I still shake my head and I still do not know what exactly happened.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned during this whole internet dating debacle is that a girl has no way of knowing what has happened to her prospective date in the six months before he met her. Everyone brings baggage and history to that first date and I have found it to be very essential to maintaining any self-esteem to not take anything too personally. Who knows what wackiness has preceded your arrival.

Kevin sent me the first email and, right away, I could tell that I was going to like him. The email was smart, snappy and it was clear that he had actually read my profile (definitely not always the case). He asked me specifically about several of my vacation photos and made a couple of political and sports cracks that were right up my alley. I could not wait to write him back.

When I go back and read the emails that Kevin and I exchanged, I am surprised I didn’t ask him to marry me before we even met. He was funny, he was sarcastic in a cool way, he obviously paid attention to what I said and he seemed equally as smitten and impressed by me as I was by him. Both of our names started with a ‘K’ and we got into a pattern where we would start each email off with a variation on the theme. I was soon known as K-Licious, K-Diddy, Katiedyd and Katie B. It seems a bit corny but I was smitten as a kitten. We talked politics, sports, traveling, family history, work – we seem to have written volumes. I started to get worried that meeting Kevin in person was going to be no match to this most awesome of dudes I had fallen for in the internet ether. I do not particularly enjoy being wrong but I was elated to be incorrect after my first meeting with the so-called ‘K-Fed’.

Kevin figured out that I had just celebrated my birthday and he planned our first meeting to be exactly one week later. I actually got a ‘Kevin’s Wine List’ with several options from which to choose so we could celebrate in style. He emailed me at noon the day of our meeting just to say how excited he was to finally get to meet the real K.B. in person. Was this guy for real? I was incredibly excited to meet the actual guy but I was also incredibly nervous that there would be no spark and I would want to cry in my Cabernet out of disappointment.

All of my worry was for naught. Kevin was waiting at our table when I arrived (He was early! Good sign!) and he stood up to shake my hand as I walked up. Oh, my, and how. Kevin passed the spark test within about, oh, two seconds. He was indeed tall, about 6’6”, and he was slim but not skinny, had amazing hands and very attractive facial hair. I am sucker for very attractive facial hair. He had on a suit coat which was a tad more formal than I was used to but he had come right from the office and he pulled it off quite nicely. I sat down and Kevin immediately poured me a glass of my pre-selected wine and said a toast to my birthday and to finally getting to meet K-Licious. Could you fall in love within five minutes? Maybe?

The rest of the night went as well as the first five minutes. Kevin and I got along smashingly and we laughed and talked for about 3 hours. There were no lapses in conversation and Kevin just felt…familiar. We shared our food, drank more wine and he even grabbed my hand a couple of times across the table. Swoon. It was a weeknight but, when Kevin suggested walking to a nearby tavern to talk more and have a beer, I didn’t hesitate for a second. Sleep, who needed sleep? I was a little worried that Kevin might find the local tavern to be a little seedy what with his wine-loving and suit coat-wearing, but I need not have worried. We grabbed a table, ordered a couple of drinks and discussed sports for about an hour. Could he be more perfect? We did have a disagreement, though, about, of all things, the coaching history of the coach of the Seattle Sonics. Such problems. We made a friendly bet and agreed that the loser had to buy the winner dinner at the restaurant of their choosing. I would be happy both with winning and losing this bet. Kevin and I finally, at about midnight, decided we had better be good and head home. Kevin walked me to my car and, when we got up to it, he seemed to almost squat and lean against it. What was he doing? Some kind of strength exercise? Did he have a sudden need to build muscle in his legs? My question was answered when he grabbed me and pulled me to him. He wanted to hug me at my height. Again, oh my. This guy was too much in a very, very good way. I was on cloud nine on that drive home and I went to sleep with a big, goofy grin on my face.

First thing the next morning, an email arrived from Kevin saying what an amazing time he had with me and he could not wait to do it again. Speaking of, he also had found proof that I had lost the bet (and he was right) and he would like to collect his winnings with me that Friday at one of the swankier Italian restaurants in my neighborhood. He wanted to see me again – hooray! He had picked a place that could set me back well over $100 – uh, hooray? Screw it. Life is short. I was enamored with Kevin and a little cash was the least of my concerns.

Once again, the evening started off amazingly. Kevin picked me up and he looked as good as he did the first time. We got our table and Kevin perused the wine list. I knew that he had excellent taste in the grapes so I let him do the choosing. He picked a bottle and, as we looked over the menu, I glanced at his choice on the list. Holy crap. The bottle he had selected was $90 and the entrees all started at about $30 each. I was still doing the math in my head when Kevin flagged down the waitress and ordered the escargot to start. So, if there is one thing I absolutely cannot stand it is any animal that comes in a shell and tastes like rubber. The fact that this particular appetizer that I would eat none of cost $25 was just icing on the cake. Was I supposed to say something? Let it go? The wine arrived just then and it was fantastic. I quickly drank a few slugs and took a deep breath. It was just money.

I am not sure if it was because of his cocky ordering, off-putting both in the cost and lack of consulting me on my food opinion, or the half-hour monologue I got on his most recent trial, but I could feel the bloom wearing off the Kevin rose just a little. I was still very attracted to him and we had a very enjoyable evening but his self-assuredness now seemed a little aggressive and Kevin just seemed more like kind of a…jerk. I was not alone in my feelings, either. As the dinner wore on, I was getting the feeling that he was finding me less than thrilling. He wanted to do all of the talking, and ordering, and, when I did start to say something, he would just start to talk over me. I didn’t want to drink much more (pricey) wine but I did, I did.

I was really at a loss to what had happened until I brought up dating histories. I know that this is not good form in most situations but I have found that, with online dating, this is common discussion and kind of the pink elephant of topics. How do you *not* talk about it when that is what has brought you both to the table? Kevin had not mentioned her before, but he now brought up Lisa, the girlfriend he had broken up with three weeks prior (!!!) that he had been with for five years. Oh, ok, things were now becoming a little clearer. Kevin started talking, and talking, and talking about Lisa and I could tell that he was so not over her. She had a kid that was like his own and not seeing him was as hard as not seeing her and he kept finding their stuff at his condo and they were supposed to go on a trip but he supposed it was now off and…this was a hurting guy. Aside from the fact that I was the unfortunate person that got to now be on a date with him, Kevin was obviously still very emotional. After about 45 minutes of Lisa talk, Kevin seemed to realize he should not be out dating and we awkwardly wrapped things up. The bill arrived and it was over $200. Kevin made no move to help me with any of it so I just settled up and vowed to never, ever make a sports bet on a first date. If I would have waited for one more conversation I would have never been so foolish.

Kevin drove me home and it was an incredibly awkward trip. I felt bad for him that he was still so hurt but I was also kind of peeved that he was out making girls like me fall for him when he was so obviously not ready to be dating. The next morning I got a very courteous, albeit short, thank you email from Kevin. He made no mention of seeing me again so I did not push the issue. I would wait for him to contact me again if he was so inclined. I didn’t hear from him for a month and a half and , when it did arrive, it was an extremely weird email. His tone made it seem like no time had passed and we were still in the wooing stages. He asked me to go out to dinner that same night, and maybe a movie, but the whole thing just felt a little desperate to me. I told him I had plans that night but perhaps we could do it another night? I never heard from him again. Was he just not ready to be dating? Was Lisa still so much on his mind that no girl would have a chance? I thought (and hoped) so and I tried not to take it personally. Stupid Kareem Abdul J.D. , aka K-Fed, aka K-Smooth. He was so kool and so klose.

Published in: Uncategorized on September 20, 2010 at 5:08 am  Comments (1)  

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

One CommentLeave a comment

  1. From now on, I’m gonna try and sum up Kate’s date experience in 5 words or less so you won’t have to read through all that stuff, kind of a condensed Cliff notes. This one is easy:

    Kevin – not over last girlfriend. Next!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: