I could probably write a book on psychoanalyzing someone based on their choice of coffee beverage.  Mike ordered a tall chamomile tea, unsweetened, with two cups. How…exciting. I could probably also write a book on the awkward time between when your date orders a beverage and is waiting for it to be made while you wait at the table trying to appear as if you are not watching them. Do they come and sit with you while they wait? Do they check their cell phone? Do they pretend to be fascinated reading the Starbucks nutritional brochure? That can be the longest three minutes ever. Mike at least came over to me before he ordered and introduced himself so I didn’t sit and wonder if that was him waiting in line. He was very cute – blue eyes, black hair and nicely dressed. I thought I detected a hint of a lisp when he was talking but it was pretty faint so I had to wait for him to come back with his lively drink to find out for sure.

Mike turned out to be a pretty cool guy. He was really into sports, owned a house in a nice neighborhood in Seattle, had a great job at a huge local computer company – all signs were a solid go. There were a couple of not-so-cool things, though. Mike didn’t drink, at all, because he was training for a triathlon. He also didn’t consume much caffeine and was pretty strict with his diet because he was in ‘training’. Don’t get me wrong – I admire athletes and the sacrifices that they make but I don’t want to date them.  I like less constrictions in life, not more, and eating out, with cocktails, is something I find very enjoyable. His workout schedule, also, seemed insane. He got up every morning at the crack of dawn – before 5 a.m.! – to work out for an hour and a half before work. Mike turned out to be one of my many athletically-obsessed paramours and it took me a long time to learn my lesson. Lots of exercise = a nice physique but it also = a little bit cuckoo. I was still learning with Mike, though, so I found his commitment exciting.

Mike, as well, seemed to be, quite possibly, gay or he was at least very much in the metrosexual camp. He did indeed talk with a lisp which, of course, is not indicative of sexual preference but it was slightly feminine in nature. He also revealed a love of cooking and baking and he was very smartly dressed. His shoes were also very stylish and pointy which, by my personal experience only, is a bit of a red flag. Mike, in addition to being one of my ‘first’ athletes, was one of my ‘first’ sexually questionable boyfriends. I have a huge fondness for gay men, but, this may come as shocking, they don’t want to have sex with me. They are so fun to hang out with, though! Damn it all! But, regardless, they don’t make good boyfriends.

Mike did say that he had been married previously (I won’t mention that he had a Scottish wedding so he attended in a skirt, er, kilt) and we vaguely discussed our online dating. He at least seemed straight enough for a second date so, when I got an email from him telling me what a good time he had on our coffee date and asking me out again, I said yes. In addition to being a gourmet cook and baker, Mike had revealed an excellent taste in restaurants. We agreed that I would meet him at his house the following Saturday and we would drive into Seattle for a movie and dinner date. Excellent! I could see how he lived. Would his house be meticulous and fantastically decorated? Could I get more stereotypical in my generalizations about gay men? Would I go on ten dates, one of which involved a drink allegedly containing a Thai aphrodisiac, and *still* never go beyond first base?

Mike II coming soon…

Published in: on February 18, 2010 at 4:47 am  Comments (2)