Sandra

Random – not from a lesbian – please read!!!

Random is right. When an email with this subject line first showed up in my inbox I was very skeptical and almost didn’t open it. But, there is a not a lot of spam in Matchville so, my curiosity piqued,  I decided to open it.  The message was from Sandra, a woman that lived in the same town as I do, and she was new to the online dating scene.  She had two young kids and was going through a nasty divorce and scared to death to meet someone on a blind date. Her parents were convinced that she should just give up on the man idea, put on her chastity belt and raise her kids. There was no one for her to talk to and she was really desperate for some advice.  Would I mind meeting her for coffee so she could pick my brain and get some guidelines? My first inclination was to run for the hills. This seemed kind of…messy but I decided the right thing to do would be to help a sister out. I had, after all, been on four dates in the last four days so I had a little bit of experience. I answered her back that, if she didn’t try to sell me something or get me to come to her church, I would be more than happy to counsel her.  I was kind of dying to know what this girl was like. It takes some balls to make such a request of another woman you don’t know. So – we set a date at the local playground. Her kids could climb the gym equipment while we chatted. I was going on my first date with a woman!

The first couple of moments with Sandra were a little awkward. There are a lot of moms at playgrounds with kids so it took me a few moments to pick her out. Her kids were very cute and were soon off to climb and throw things. It then got very quiet. Where to start THIS conversation? She led off with the story of her soon-to-be-ex husband. He sounded like a real prize. She was a stay-at-home mom and he called her, from her family’s basement on Thanksgiving in another state (while on a business trip), to tell her that he was leaving and wanted a divorce. Oh, and he didn’t have any money and wasn’t going to so she would have to get a job. Nice guy, eh?  He had since made her life a living hell by forcing her to leap back into the working world so she could support their kids while fighting her for custody. It was becoming clear why she was a little afraid of the males.  I gave her the low-down on my dating history and assured her that all men were not evil and conniving and that she might actually have some fun. She wasn’t telling anyone else what she was doing so she gave me the name of her first meet and greet. I had a co-hort in the my dating debacles and Sandra seemed pretty cool. The whole thing wasn’t nearly as awful as I had envisioned.

Sandra’s first date was not stellar. The guy was a single parent, as well, but he neglected to mention that his ex-wife had declared herself a lesbian and moved into the basement of their house. He also dropped f***-bombs like it was going out of style. This was not good! I did not want her to be scared off but she was a trooper and made another date. She asked if I would come to her house some night after work to have dinner with her and the kids so we could discuss my dates and her progress. Sandra turned out to live three minutes from me which was just too bizarre. We had a very pleasant dinner with the kids and the animals and wine and boy talk. I was very happy how this was all turning out.

The next time I went to have dinner at Sandra’s house she was very excited about a new prospect.  Alex was also a parent going through a divorce and he worked at the same tech company she did. They talked on the phone, had a great conversation and were meeting the next day. I came over a few nights after their date and she was totally jazzed with a silly little lovesick grin and everything. She started to talk about Alex and little bells started to go off in my head. He sounded so familiar but I hadn’t dated anyone by that name. Then it came to me.  I asked her a few details, like his last name, and I realized that Alex, his wife, Trina, and I had gone to junior high and high school together. I had sat with Alex and Trina at a wedding and, because Trina was still friends with some of my friends, I knew a few details about Alex’s marriage. Unfortunately, because I was sitting at that moment with Sandra, most of the details were not favorable to Alex. Shit. What was I supposed to do? Tell the truth and burst Sandra’s bubble? I was afraid, though, if I didn’t spill it then, she would find out eventually that Alex and I knew each other and she would be pissed that I hadn’t been honest. So, I kind of laughed, took another gulp of wine, and told her that I knew him and was kind of friends with his whole former social circle. It was so awkward. Sandra’s face kind of fell and she tried to look ok with this new bit of info but I could tell she was not pleasantly surprised.  We laughed about strange coincidences – what else could we do? – and I went home not long after that.

Sandra and Alex were soon hot and heavy and it became clear it was going to become a little close for comfort. She was coyly discussing their love life and I was trying not to think of the stories I heard about him being unfaithful. These tales were not substantiated but, as a friend, I didn’t know what to say. A few weeks later, Sandra called me and said that Alex remembered me, of course, and they wanted me to come to dinner so he could see me again. I hadn’t seen this guy in 14 years and, from what I heard, he hadn’t been the greatest in his marriage. Dinner didn’t sound so wonderful but I went anyway. It was not as bad as I thought but it was still weird. I didn’t know how to reminisce with Alex without mentioning his soon-to-be ex. He was obviously smitten, though, with Sandra which made me very happy.

I didn’t hear much from Sandra for a long, long time but that made sense. She and Alex were now officially an item, he had met her kids and it was just strange to have me hanging around. We were Facebook friends, though, so I was able to see that they were still together. I ran into her and the kids at the grocery store almost a year later and she kind of let on that things were a little rough. She asked if I wanted to come over for some drinks. I agreed and she ended up crying and telling me that she and Alex were probably breaking up. Ack.  I listened and tried to give her positive reinforcement but I felt a little weird being close after not hearing from her for a year. That was the last time I saw her but, through the miracle of Facebook, I see that she and Alex are still going strong. She is a great mom and cool girl so I wish her luck. But, oh yes, the world is very small, indeed.

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Published in: on May 26, 2009 at 2:11 pm  Comments (2)  

Artie Part II

“You know we will both regret it if we sleep together.”

Artie dropped this little nugget of wisdom on what was probably our 6th or 7th date. We had done the usual ‘date activities’ including a Mariners game, dinner, a movie and bbq-ing at his house. I had even invited him up to my condo and he didn’t get weird or stalker-like. Things were going well and I quite liked him but something just wasn’t clicking. Every once in a great while he would disclose something fairly personal about himself but it was rare. I discovered Artie had a weak spot for ice cream covered in Magic Shell. He knew more celebrity gossip than any heterosexual man I had met in my life and wanted my old copies of ‘Us’ magazine. ‘The Hills’ was strangely fascinating to him. He cried every time he saw ‘Rudy’. I practically had to fight him so I could take a look at his iPod playlist and, once we swapped units and perused, I realized how intensely personal that is. Now you have to know me a little bit to get to a look at my musical selections.

I felt like I was slowly getting to know Artie but I still didn’t feel totally relaxed around him. He never mentioned any past relationships or dating until, after a glass of wine or two, I worked up the courage to ask him what the story was. He begrudgingly told me that he had been in a long relationship for seven years that had just ended six months ago. I am not sure who broke up with who but I could tell from his demeanor that it had been rough. But, I am guessing because he told me that much and no more and we were on to another topic. That was the night he told me about the shame that could come from any serious physical contact. I did not know what to say. Was he calling me a slut? Did he have a thing against pre-marital sex? I hadn’t been attacking him – it kind of came out of nowhere and I considered myself warned. This guy was really not ready to be out in the dating world.

I am a glutton for punishment and I *liked* Artie so we saw each other a couple more times. I was so confused that I asked him, by email, if he was really interested in me. By email. How embarrassing. I must have sensed the answer and didn’t want to get dissed in person. He replied that he did like spending time with me but wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. Ok, then. Glad I asked. He didn’t ask for another date so I just decided to let it go but it wasn’t easy. He was so…close. Maybe if I would have met him a year later?

Artie got on my grandma’s, and my, shit list because, even though he obviously didn’t want to date, he kept texting me about the Mariners of all things. There is a lot, A LOT, to be said for out of sight, out of mind. Just when I started to forget about him, a text would arrive and my stomach would drop and all it would be was moaning about our awful pitching rotation. I knew I had to put an end to it when, on a date with another guy, I answered one of his stupid messages while I was on a bathroom break. Twice. I emailed him that night and told him that, while I enjoyed discussing baseball with him, I thought we needed to call it a day. He wrote back that he understood and appreciated my honesty. That was the end of Artie and to think I let him look at my iPod.  I do regret that.

Published in: on May 14, 2009 at 9:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Artie Part I

Artie was the fourth date that I had in four days and I was pretty man-exhausted. I was having a hard time remembering who worked where,  how many siblings they had, if they had been married, had they reproduced… I needed a rest. I met Artie at my favorite local Starbucks and I even sat at the same table that I had two dates before. I didn’t take that as a good sign.

What a pleasant surprise Artie turned out to be. He was tall and very attractive and his clothes were clean and matched each other. I could tell that he was in pretty good shape which was explained when he admitted to having a weakness for marathons and long-distance swimming. Is that what you call it? A weakness? I liked his conversational style right away. I am not shy and it is easy for me to take control over the talking. Artie set me my back on my heels which I liked. This guy could hold his own. There was a little cock in his walk, if you will. He asked me all kinds of questions about my job, exercise routine, travel habits and dating history. I answered them all and, to his credit, he did the same although he was kind of vague on the dating details. Danger, danger. We talked for a couple of hours and then called it a date.

I could tell right away that I liked this guy. A friend came to visit from out-of-town and wanted to hear the dirty details on all of my dates. When I told her about Artie, she said, “Girl, I can tell you like him.” I decided to do the initiation for once and emailed Artie the next morning thanking him for coming to have coffee on a random Sunday. So forward of me! A day later he emailed me back that he would like to get together for dinner. Score! This was the first time I was nervous and excited and keeping watch on my email like a hawk. He was headed out of town for the weekend to do a swim to Alcatraz but wanted to meet when he got back. Yes, he was swimming in the cold ocean, with SHARKS, from San Francisco to the old prison and back. Just a wee bit hard-core, this one. I didn’t hear from him before he left but he did text me when he finished the race. Artie seemed to be playing hard-to-get and that was keeping me interested. I was pretty confident that he liked me – I didn’t think the offer of another date was out of pity – but whether he was really interested was a mystery. I still didn’t know much about his dating history but he seemed safe. He offered to come pick me up for our next date and I gave him my address and the date was set. I was way excited. Hard to believe that this was the guy my grandma soon said she would like to castrate with a dull kitchen knife.

Published in: on May 13, 2009 at 12:37 am  Leave a Comment  

Daniel

You know what is fun? Going to a Mariners game. You know what is not fun? Going to a Mariners game with a guy and having him not utter more than one-word replies for the whole game. In case you are not a sports fan, baseball games are 3 hours long.

I had my highest hopes yet for Daniel. His profile was witty and written like one of those ‘choose your own adventure’ books I used to dig in elementary school. If you want to fight the tiger in the cave, turn to page 56. If you want to take on the tribe of cannibalistic warriors instead, turn to page 88. Daniel used that idea and wrote a really fun adventure for dating. If you want to take long walks on the beach, snuggle and dine by candlelight, scroll to the next profile. If you want to have a decent conversation, catch a cool flick and explore Seattle, Daniel just might be your guy. His photos were black-and-white shots of himself holding cue cards that said fun things like, “Nice guy who brushes and flosses regularly. Maybe.” He definitely stood out from the ‘here-I-am-on-a-northwest hike’ crowd. I sent him the initial email which was not my normal modus operandi. My fancy was definitely tickled.

Daniel emailed me right back and his emails were articulate, contained no spelling errors and made me laugh out loud. We both loved sports, Keith Olbermann and Thai food. He worked at Microsoft, the first of MANY of my dates, and had recently moved to Seattle from the east coast. I was intrigued that he and his brother had made the trip west in a car even though he brought next to nothing with him. What is that saying about hindsight being 20/20?

We both agreed that the best next step was to meet in person. Daniel offered to come my way and I suggested a tasty local Thai restaurant. This was before I had my rule about no meals on the first date. We met at the restaurant and he was very cute and had no obvious deformities. As we perused the menu I got the strong impression he had bluffed about loving Thai food. The only thing he would even consider ordering was the phad thai with no stars. Did they make negative stars and could he get it without sprouts or broccoli? Ok, so we were not going to be sharing dishes. I had never heard Daniel speak before and he had a strong east coast accent and was a HUGE Steelers fan. There were two things I wasn’t used to but I was able to roll with it.

After we ate, his treat, very nice, we strolled down along the waterfront and then went to Starbucks for a cool beverage. We started to talk about traveling and Daniel confessed to a dislike of flying. I *love* to travel so I asked him to clarify this a little bit. Oh, not only did he not do cartwheels over air travel but he hadn’t flown since pre-September 11th, 2001, and intended to keep it that way. We were sitting with our coffee in late 2007. It looked like we had less in common than I originally thought. I got home from that date and, unbeknownst to me, I had mascara smeared all over my face and he had not said a word. I think my overwhelming sense of embarrassment caused me to say yes to his offer of a baseball game the next week.

The game turned out to be on a weeknight so we thought it best to meet at the stadium after work instead of driving in together. He was very gracious and bought the tickets and we headed to the seats with our beers. Everything started well ,  the spark was there and he began talking about his parents. They had been married for almost 50 years but seemed to hate each other. I stupidly (must have been the alcohol) offered up that it was sad when people settled for living with someone they didn’t truly love. Why, the ex and I were so lucky because we had decided to call it quits while we were still friends and had managed to remain really close. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Daniel tense up and take a big swig. In fact, the ex was at that very baseball game with his new girlfriend. I wonder if I could see him from where we were sitting! At the time I didn’t see saying this as any big deal – the ex was there with his *girlfriend* and I was on a date with another man. It was quite clear we had moved on. Daniel didn’t seem to see it that way.

This train wreck happened in the bottom of the first inning. Daniel went completely silent for a good inning and a half. I kept talking and he didn’t utter a word of reply. F*ck. By then I had realized the error of my ways but I didn’t, and still don’t, think what I said was any big deal. I became so incredibly uncomfortable that I told him that I saw he was obviously upset and asked if he wanted to talk about the ex. “No, I am fine. I just want to watch the game.” That was the longest freaking game I have ever sat through in my life. Daniel then insisted on walking me to my car – what a gentleman! – and even went for the hug goodbye. Hello? He hadn’t talked to me in 3 hours. A hug? I think he needed to hug a counselor.

I was so relieved, yet disappointed, to have that date over. Imagine my surprise when he emailed the next day and wanted me to go golfing with him that weekend. Come again? Did he have split personalities? Daniel knew I had never been golfing and I now know it is one of the hardest sports on the planet. I am quite sure he just wanted to humiliate me on the links. I declined his offer – duh! – and told him I just wasn’t ready to date. This, again, came back to bite me in the ass two months later. I got an email from Darren at midnight, probably post-drinking, after he had seen my profile still online. Wasn’t I lonely? Was being alone really better than giving him a third date? No to the first and hell, yes!, to the second.

Published in: on May 8, 2009 at 3:36 am  Comments (1)  

Jim

Jim may win the prize for being the guy that, in person, turned out to be absolutely nothing like the guy I had pictured in my head. He first emailed me because there is a photo on my profile of me wearing a Wisconsin  hat at a Badgers football game. The ex was an alumni so we visited and went to a game and it is all very sporty.  I have gotten a ton of emails that mention that photo. A girl at a football game? That is worlds colliding in a good way for most men. Apparently Jim was from Wisconsin so he recognized the stadium but had to move out to Seattle for work and was now a Mariners/Seahawks/Sonics (r.i.p.)  fan. The main picture on his profile, and the only one that was any kind of close-up, showed Jim in a red Nebraska Huskers hat. Based on all of these details,  I pictured Jim as a total corn-fed, Midwest sports guy. I should have been tipped off when he mentioned a love of pho which I don’t think has even made an appearance in the red states.

We sent a couple of emails back and forth and decided to meet up. He suggested dinner so  we could, jokingly, feed each other steak and be romantic but I went for coffee instead. Long dinner on a first date = not a good idea. Appetizers are acceptable but I want to be able to cut and run if it is an awful situtation. We met at my old, familiar Starbucks on a Friday evening (such a ‘date’ night that I should have reconsidered) and I got there first. Jim walked up to my table and I thought he had the wrong Kate because he looked *nothing* like what I was expecting. My supposed big lug was about 5’5″ with slicked-back black hair and was wearing very hip, trendy clothes and a few rings on his fingers. I am glad he had to go order a beverage so I had time to pick my jaw up off of the floor.

Even though I knew I was not attracted to him, at all, Jim and I had a very cool conversation. He was a video game designer and taught classes at the local technical school. He was into rock-climbing and loved to hit the indoor rock wall at the nearby REI. He had also spent some time living in CA and had managed to wrangle a guest spot on ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. I got all of the dirty details of life on a Hollywood set. For being a straight man, Jim was pretty bitchy which made him very fun to talk to but not someone I wanted to date. We finished our drinks and walked out to our cars where we exchanged the awkward-end-of-date hug. This guy was about 4 inches shorter than  me and his car was totally all tricked out. I still shake my head.

I got an email from Jim that night saying how much he had enjoyed meeting me, what a great talk we had, how I was smart, beautiful, sexy and someone he wanted to take out again. All very nice to hear but he also managed to call me ‘gal’ three times in one email. Gal? Isn’t that kind of like ‘broad’ and something that I don’t want to be called until I am 60 and smoked a lot of cigarettes? I think he meant it as a compliment since everything else he said was nice but…weird nonetheless. He mentioned that he had felt a spark with me which gave me the perfect excuse for not accepting the offer of date #2. There wasn’t same said spark for me and I told him so in a nice way. He wrote back a one-sentence reply saying that was cool, he understood, and it was better anyway since he was looking for someone that was a size 14. That took me a little aback. Was he saying I was too skinny? Was he trying to make a joke? Was this the bitchy side of him coming out again? I didn’t reply since I was getting the idea I had been insulted but he must have not meant it that way. The next day he forwarded me some links to shows we had discussed so he must not have been too angry. Buffy would approve.

Published in: on May 6, 2009 at 8:17 pm  Leave a Comment  

Jeremy

If you ever want to make yourself crazy, try to meet four new online dating prospects in four consecutive days. I didn’t think when I was setting the dates that it would be a problem but it really was an awful idea. Anyone that has had any serious online action will tell you that sometimes it is difficult to keep the contestants straight in your head. It is hard to remember all the careers, hometowns, undergrad college, pets, parents, siblings, locations lived, favorite restaurants, past relationships, etc., about a number of  people at once and not set yourself for some kind embarrassing gaffe. “So what are you getting your mom for Mother’s Day? Ohhhhh, that is right. You did tell me she was dead. My bad. Sorry about that.” I don’t like being a jerk so I try and remember things like deceased relatives but it can get to be tricky. A friend of mine is keeping a notebook with print-outs of emails and pictures and profiles of all of his paramours so he can brush up at a moments notice. I have learned that doing a quick email-history and profile review before the initial meet and greet to be very beneficial.  Online dating = just like school. There will be homework.

Jeremy first emailed me because there is a photo on my profile of me carrying a tray of cheeseburgers at my favorite spot in Kauai. He said he could appreciate a girl that could pack away a burger or two. Well, I can appreciate someone that can appreciate a good appetite. We were going to get along just fine. I decided to stay with the Starbucks theme but I did agree to meet at one closer to his neck of the woods. I got there early which I was starting to realize was the best plan of attack. I like being able to get myself comfortable, use the restroom and have the guy be the one that walks in and has that awkward moment of wondering, hmmmm, does this person look anything like who I am supposed to meet? Are they looking at me expectantly?

Jeremy walked in a few minutes late but was very, very cute. Tall, very nice physique, glasses, snappily dressed – all good signs. I did notice as he was ordering his drink that he seemed to be a little…overheated. I saw a little sweat on his brow and there were possible signs of pit sweat through is t-shirt. Hmmmm… He earned some points, though, when he explained immediately after sitting down that he was still hot from a 10-mile run. He had, though, taken a shower. No need to worry. I find a guy that works out and takes care of himself to be very, very attractive. We were also meeting at 4:30 on a weekday which meant that he had a good enough job that they allowed him to exercise during normal work hours. Either that or he was unemployed but I definitely remember a job being mentioned. My fingers were crossed.

We had a very, very fun conversation. We were both into working out, good food, music, sports… I definitely felt a spark with him. We finished our coffee and said that he would be interested in meeting up again. Yay! Jeremy lived in West Seattle which is a cool area so we tentatively decided on that with details to be worked out online. I was excited as I drove away although the awkward ‘driving right behind me’ did occur. I hate it when someone you like or want to impress is in the car right behind yours and you have to pretend to be ‘nonchalant cool driver’. I did look back once and he was singing along to the radio. Nice, nice.

Jeremy emailed me the next day about coming down for dinner and/or drinks in a week or so and I happily agreed. We even had a pleasant phone conversation discussing our dining and recreational options. Things looked very promising so it was a bit of a surprise when, the day before we were supposed to hook up, I got a call from Jeremy. He had really enjoyed meeting me, he thought I was a great girl but he and his ex had been talking more and they had decided to give their relationship another go. Oh. Ok. I was taken a little aback but what could I say? I wished him luck, told him it was cool of him to call and he said that he would definitely be in touch should things change. I have to say that it was very admirable for him to man up and make the call. Most people, and I include myself in this group, would have felt totally appropriate doing that by email. Since this phone call with Jeremy I have used his line, not usually true, that I am trying to ‘take it to another level’ with someone as a reason for why no more dates can be had. Because of this, looking back, a large part of me thinks Jeremy was fibbing but why did he make the date with me in the first place if he wasn’t interested? He could have left it at coffee. I didn’t hear from him again so maybe he worked it out with his ex and they are living happily ever after or at least that is what I tell myself over a plate of cheeseburgers.

Published in: on May 4, 2009 at 8:23 pm  Leave a Comment  

Thomas

Thomas gets the lone distinction of being the only person that has made me afraid that he knows where I live. After meeting 70+ men, I have come up with some general guidelines about the dating process. Because I like being alive and there are some weird people out there, I never, ever, ever invite someone over to my condo on a first date. That would be just plain stupid. But, starting out, I didn’t see any harm in inviting someone over on a second or third date. Oh, how naive I was. There are so many hidden meanings to having someone over that hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was unaware, for instance, that inviting a man to your house or agreeing to go to his place is the same as saying, “Yes, I will have sex with you.” Granted, I don’t think that and I know there are men that wouldn’t cop to thinking that but you kind of know the thought is there. It is the elephant in the bedroom, if you will.

The reason Thomas freaked me out wasn’t that I was fighting off his advances but that he turned out to be emotionally unstable. I met him for the first time at a fairly nice seafood restaurant which I had never been to. Thomas suggested the ceviche which I was not so sure would be something I would like. It turned out to be delicious so he at least gets some props for introducing me. He was a good conversationalist and seemed to have a good job as a database engineer at a fairly big company. I remember that he wooed me most with his traveling tales which is why I must have agreed to meet him again before we even left. I kind of regretted it when, on the goodbye hug, I realized I was a couple of inches taller than him. In flats. Shit. New rule = never agree to anything before seeing someone stand up. I should also mention that he had braces. They were clear and unobtrusive but, combined with his height and spiky hair, they made him look a bit like a teenager.

For the second date, we met at another seafood restaurant in the town I live in. He insisted on picking me up so I had to spill my address. Since I live in a secured condo complex, the worst thing he could know is I am one of 400 units. How bad could that be, right? I met him at his car and we headed out to eat. Somehow, on the previous outing, I had failed to notice that Thomas had some severe food issues. This became clear when he ordered his steak and potatoes but hold the potatoes. I asked if he was low-carbing (even though he was a skinny, small guy) but he just said that he doesn’t eat any white carbs. At all. At his house, he continued, there was nothing that wasn’t organic. He looked down at his steak and shuddered at the thought of all the hormones in his beef. He ate about half of it. He also assured me that the only thing he would even touch for breakfast is a cup of blueberries, organic of course. I love, love, love to eat and go out to restaurants and eat food full of chemicals and pesticides so this discourse was a serious red flag. We managed to get through our disgusting dinner, though, and he then proceeded to invite himself back to my house.

The hardened dating veteran that I am now would never agree to such a thing and would certainly not feel obligated or rude for not agreeing to let Thomas come over. I was new to the game, though, and felt somehow impolite for taking two meals from this guy and then telling him to just go home. So I agreed which was a bad, bad move. It all started out fine as we sat down to watch some Sopranos but then Thomas spit out, “That Tony Soprano is a FAT PIG!” Uhhhh, got some fat issues do we, buddy? I was totally realizing at this point that I was so not into this guy and that kissing a guy with braces, for this girl, was seriously unpleasant. Luckily it was a work night so I was able to get him out fairly early. As he kissed me goodbye (please no!), he offered to cook me dinner at his house sometime. Nothing good can come from turning down someone in person so I always wait for a phone call or email to finish things off. It sounds selfish of me but I always think that getting the brush-off is easier over a phone line or internet cable than face-to-face. Easier on the ego, I believe.

The official dinner invite arrived via email the next day and, if I wasn’t sure before (I was!), this would have done it. He had planned a whole menu, with wine pairings and then an itinerary for the five things we were going to do after eating. I am not kidding that the list included both a museum and art gallery – in one date! After dinner and wine! I sent back a very nice and polite email explaining that I had enjoyed our dates but I just didn’t think that the connection was there. Not 5 minutes after I hit the ‘send’ button, my phone rang and it was Thomas. Why did I answer?? I did and it was him, calling from the aisles of Home Depot. He had just gotten my email and he was soooo bummed! Was I sure that I didn’t want to at least try *one* more date? He had bought all of the food! He had cleaned the house! He was at Home Depot getting supplies to finish up his bathroom remodel so it would be perfect for me! Why? Why did this keep happening to him? Why? I pictured him wailing on his knees in the plumbing department and just told him that I was sorry but, yes, I was sure. I felt awful but so relieved I hadn’t gone to this psycho’s house. I got several more pleading ‘if-you-change-your-mind’ emails from him which made me very concerned that he knew where I lived. I was lucky, this time, but I didn’t make that mistake again.

Published in: on May 1, 2009 at 8:11 pm  Comments (1)